Crossfit and Cross-promotion #4

The Flying Wallendas. You should know them.

Crossfit and Cross-promotion #3

Do you get the sense like I do that this kid had it all figured out?

Sorry, sorry I will get back to these soon, but I excel only at working on many things and nothing all at once. I assume everyone is sleepy and full of fried turkey anyway.

June 28th: She’s Been Married Seven Times Before

Second Verse, same as the first:

Henry VIII was born today in 1457. Flemish painter Sir Peter Paul Rubens was born on June 28, 1577. Violinist Stefi Geyer was born in Budapest on June 28, 1888. Heir presumptive Archduke Franz Ferdinand was assassinated today in 1914, igniting factor of World War I. Coincidentally, the Treaty of Versailles was signed exactly five years later, officially calling an end to the war.

I can’t believe this was on primetime television, and that people screamed for it.

https://wordpress.com/post/scopeandhorror.com/200

Crossfit and Cross-Promotion #2

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Seven sleepers (Menologion of Basil II)

Think Outside the Take-Out Box

As you get ready to settle into your weekend, I want you to take some time for menu planning for next week. I know take-out is quick and convenient but with oversized portions and unknown ingredients, it’s not so great for your wallet or your waistline!

Try to bring lunch from home 4 out of 5 days next week. With some grocery store initiative and a little bit of Sunday prep, you can do this!

Avoid the pre-packaged items, and focus on simple, nutrient-rich whole foods. It doesn’t have to be hum-drum! With drive-up, drop-off, and on-the-fly grocery services, the ideas for dressing up your meals are endless!

For example, you can get a whole fried turkey mailed directly to you for a little more than $100!

If you are more of a DIY’er, you could also just buy a whole turkey at the grocery store, and purchase one of these bad boys this weekend, and boom! You’ve got meals for the entire week!

I hope your family likes poultry!

Okay, now we’ve got food covered for the week, I also want to remind you to stop reaching for those sugar-sweetened (or even worse the artificially-sweetened!) beverages. Those should have no place in anyone’s diet.

But, I get it, water gets boring. Fortunately for you, there is a multitude of options to have kegs of beer delivered right to your door!

If you start consuming your fermented drinks by the barrel, there are deep savings to be made! According to one source that I completely did not verify or make any sort of effort to confirm, the average beer drinker can save 40–60% by buying kegs instead of cans or bottles! You can recoup the cost of a kegerator in as little as ten barrels! What is that, like less than 6 months??? Act now, and don’t forget to invest those savings into your #crypto account!

Then pour yourself another draft, sit back, and stay loose!

Franchising

Become a Certified Human and Humanoids Appraiser

 

Are you looking for a fun new career, with great pay*, great friends, flexible hours, and minimal out-of-pocket upfront cost? Consider becoming a certified human and humanoids appraiser!

Our family is growing and we are always looking for new talent. Fill out the quick and easy form below, and we will be in touch soon to see if this field is right for you!

*base salary will be paid in units of virtual perfidy emoticons, which our legal team has asked us to clarify is not the same thing as digital currency or promissory notes, and may not be recognized by your regular financial institution and cannot be used as legal tender for debts public or private.

Do you qualify?

 

“Shhh. No, we don’t pay for downloading images either, but I think someone might be listening, so let’s talk about it later.”

ISO

Am I searching for armpit fat? Yes, yes I am. Isn’t everyone?

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I can only assume Google is suggesting I am going to love the idea of a workout to put some more padding to my underarms.

#thanksgoogle

No Breakfast for Me,Thanks

You probably remember the late 1980’s when Joan Collins tried to teach us we needed shoulder pads to look and feel tough. But there’s a better, sleeker, modern way to tell the world not to fuck with you, balance out your shoulder- to-hip ratio, and channel your inner Audrey Hepburn!

Better Than a Little Black Dress

Tell the world you’re classy and packing, and that you won’t be meeting them for breakfast. Breakfast is for weaklings.

Shop Tiffany blue guns here!

Bitcoin BMI Appraisal Form

For Office Use Only:

Score__________Overall
3 pointsFlawless    
2 PointsMinor scratches  
1 PointModerate chips, dents, or surface rust                     
0 PointsDamaged, major dents, paint flaws, missing parts, or major rust
Score__________Medical
3 pointsCurrent, complete, appears much younger than stated age            
2 PointsCurrent, incomplete, appears consistent with stated age
1 PointOverdue, no records, unvaccinated, appears much older than stated age, or annual medical deductible not met
0 PointsTrue mileage unknown or defective odometer
Score__________Interview and  summary of  personal/professional documents and titles
3 pointsConsistent, all or mostly truthful   
2 PointsSomewhat truthful, vague or evasive when pressed for details
1 PointClearly lying  and/or inebriated
0 PointsUncooperative, incoherent, or comatose
Score__________Body Work  
3 pointsNone  
2 PointsMinor cosmetic paint  
1 PointSome dent removal or touch ups              
0 PointsSignificant amount of paint and/or body work
Score__________ Integumentary
3 pointsClean/like new 
2 PointsMinimal wear  
1 PointStained/faded/worn                        
0 PointsTorn/burned/cracked/missing
Score__________ Odor  
3 pointsNone  
2 PointsFaint
1 PointObvious
0 PointsSuspect decomposition present
Score__________Interior 
3 pointsFully functional  
2 PointsFunctional with minor fault(s)
1 PointRepairs needed
0 PointsSalvage/parts only
Subtotal__________
________ Subtotal from Section 1
_______  Marital Status  (2 Clean title,   1 Rental, commercial, 0 Salvage, rebuilt
salvage, flood, etc.)
_______ +1 Rechargeable batteries
_______ +1 Toilet trained
________ Credit Score
_________ Checking account balance
_______ -1 Dietary restrictions
_______ Subtract number of ICD 10 diagnosis codes
_______________ TOTAL * 1 US dollar Subtotal 2
______________ Subtotal 2 * US Dollar Index
_______________ cryptocurrency exchange
                                                                            = BITCOIN BMI

Subject Cleared:

Subject Rejected:

Incomplete/More information Required:


Please check evaluation subject against safety recall lists

Recall List

International Organization for Standardization