Crossfit and Cross-promotion #3

Do you get the sense like I do that this kid had it all figured out?

Sorry, sorry I will get back to these soon, but I excel only at working on many things and nothing all at once. I assume everyone is sleepy and full of fried turkey anyway.

June 28th: She’s Been Married Seven Times Before

Second Verse, same as the first:

Henry VIII was born today in 1457. Flemish painter Sir Peter Paul Rubens was born on June 28, 1577. Violinist Stefi Geyer was born in Budapest on June 28, 1888. Heir presumptive Archduke Franz Ferdinand was assassinated today in 1914, igniting factor of World War I. Coincidentally, the Treaty of Versailles was signed exactly five years later, officially calling an end to the war.

I can’t believe this was on primetime television, and that people screamed for it.

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Think Outside the Take-Out Box

As you get ready to settle into your weekend, I want you to take some time for menu planning for next week. I know take-out is quick and convenient but with oversized portions and unknown ingredients, it’s not so great for your wallet or your waistline!

Try to bring lunch from home 4 out of 5 days next week. With some grocery store initiative and a little bit of Sunday prep, you can do this!

Avoid the pre-packaged items, and focus on simple, nutrient-rich whole foods. It doesn’t have to be hum-drum! With drive-up, drop-off, and on-the-fly grocery services, the ideas for dressing up your meals are endless!

For example, you can get a whole fried turkey mailed directly to you for a little more than $100!

If you are more of a DIY’er, you could also just buy a whole turkey at the grocery store, and purchase one of these bad boys this weekend, and boom! You’ve got meals for the entire week!

I hope your family likes poultry!

Okay, now we’ve got food covered for the week, I also want to remind you to stop reaching for those sugar-sweetened (or even worse the artificially-sweetened!) beverages. Those should have no place in anyone’s diet.

But, I get it, water gets boring. Fortunately for you, there is a multitude of options to have kegs of beer delivered right to your door!

If you start consuming your fermented drinks by the barrel, there are deep savings to be made! According to one source that I completely did not verify or make any sort of effort to confirm, the average beer drinker can save 40–60% by buying kegs instead of cans or bottles! You can recoup the cost of a kegerator in as little as ten barrels! What is that, like less than 6 months??? Act now, and don’t forget to invest those savings into your #crypto account!

Then pour yourself another draft, sit back, and stay loose!

Am I an Apple or Mayor McCheese?

Finding the Right Pants for Your Body Shape

Match Your Body Shape to One of These Insulting Diagrams!

Mayor McCheese

Calculate waist to hip ratio to find the right pants to flatter your body shape without landing you on the fashion don’ts page!

I know, with the fruit-to-waist conversion charts, swiftly changing trends, and vanity sizing, finding clothes that fit your body type is confusing and hard!

Technology has advanced to give us smart wearables to custom fit your clothes, but they can be pricey, and there is just not an established return on that investment yet.

So for now, I want you to get back to the basics!

Focus on stocking up on simple, classic silhouettes that never go out of style, and work on pretty much every body type. Don’t go too big though! Everyone knows oversized makes you look like you’ve given up, and you don’t want to end up on the fashion don’ts page!

Okay, get internet click and shipping, because we still have a lot of work to do! I wish I could be there to personally help all of you find the perfect fit, but here’s a wiki tutorial on calculating waist-hip ratio in case you get lost in the virtual fitting rooms.

No.

How to Increase Your Resale Value

Shaping Your Future

Learning about investing and money markets is tough!

I know retirement age and the quick slide into senility are appearing over the horizon like the Grateful Dead skull on top of your vintage VW bus. You are taking stock, depreciating in value faster than a Nissan Juke. You haven’t saved as much as you should have, and you didn’t listen when Alex Jones told you to buy gold.

Now the shelves of your fallout shelter are bare. The market is volatile, you still don’t know what bitcoin is, and your kids don’t return your text messages.

Never fear! As a certified personality appraiser, I am here to help.

Over the next few weeks, I want to find out a little bit about you and your savings goals, but I know how motivating a little momentum can be, so I am going to give you some quick tips on what you can do right now to increase your resale value.

With an open mind, a refrigerator lock, and minimal upfront cost, you can be on your way to exponentially increase both your curb appeal and your bottom line!

Ready to get started? Great!

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First and foremost, you are going to need to cultivate a new look.

As everyone knows, the foundation is the most important, and that’s where shapewear comes in!  Go squeeze into yours and meet back here in 20! Because up next, we are gonna crunch the numbers!