Franchising

Become a Certified Human and Humanoids Appraiser

 

Are you looking for a fun new career, with great pay*, great friends, flexible hours, and minimal out-of-pocket upfront cost? Consider becoming a certified human and humanoids appraiser!

Our family is growing and we are always looking for new talent. Fill out the quick and easy form below, and we will be in touch soon to see if this field is right for you!

*base salary will be paid in units of virtual perfidy emoticons, which our legal team has asked us to clarify is not the same thing as digital currency or promissory notes, and may not be recognized by your regular financial institution and cannot be used as legal tender for debts public or private.

Do you qualify?

 

“Shhh. No, we don’t pay for downloading images either, but I think someone might be listening, so let’s talk about it later.”

Bitcoin BMI Appraisal Form

For Office Use Only:

Score__________Overall
3 pointsFlawless    
2 PointsMinor scratches  
1 PointModerate chips, dents, or surface rust                     
0 PointsDamaged, major dents, paint flaws, missing parts, or major rust
Score__________Medical
3 pointsCurrent, complete, appears much younger than stated age            
2 PointsCurrent, incomplete, appears consistent with stated age
1 PointOverdue, no records, unvaccinated, appears much older than stated age, or annual medical deductible not met
0 PointsTrue mileage unknown or defective odometer
Score__________Interview and  summary of  personal/professional documents and titles
3 pointsConsistent, all or mostly truthful   
2 PointsSomewhat truthful, vague or evasive when pressed for details
1 PointClearly lying  and/or inebriated
0 PointsUncooperative, incoherent, or comatose
Score__________Body Work  
3 pointsNone  
2 PointsMinor cosmetic paint  
1 PointSome dent removal or touch ups              
0 PointsSignificant amount of paint and/or body work
Score__________ Integumentary
3 pointsClean/like new 
2 PointsMinimal wear  
1 PointStained/faded/worn                        
0 PointsTorn/burned/cracked/missing
Score__________ Odor  
3 pointsNone  
2 PointsFaint
1 PointObvious
0 PointsSuspect decomposition present
Score__________Interior 
3 pointsFully functional  
2 PointsFunctional with minor fault(s)
1 PointRepairs needed
0 PointsSalvage/parts only
Subtotal__________
________ Subtotal from Section 1
_______  Marital Status  (2 Clean title,   1 Rental, commercial, 0 Salvage, rebuilt
salvage, flood, etc.)
_______ +1 Rechargeable batteries
_______ +1 Toilet trained
________ Credit Score
_________ Checking account balance
_______ -1 Dietary restrictions
_______ Subtract number of ICD 10 diagnosis codes
_______________ TOTAL * 1 US dollar Subtotal 2
______________ Subtotal 2 * US Dollar Index
_______________ cryptocurrency exchange
                                                                            = BITCOIN BMI

Subject Cleared:

Subject Rejected:

Incomplete/More information Required:


Please check evaluation subject against safety recall lists

Recall List

International Organization for Standardization